I solve problems.
For those with ideas and ambitions, the most precious thing in life is time. It’s easy to make the mistake to think that money is the only way to make the time to do the things we want. But time cannot be bought so easily. Having money and spending it to make time is not enough. Sure, those with money can afford not to spend time making it, but it’s important not to spend all that time making that money.
My reality is somewhat different: there are ambitions for which large amounts of money are necessary. I want to explore space in my life, and I want to do it on my own terms. I want to make a difference, and not just voice my goal to make that difference. So it’s far more productive to make the money, then to do my own research and implement my own ideas, rather than push them through with large organisations. Not to mention the rewards.
And at the same time, I want to write. I want to create art, perfect my skills, understand the world. I want to live. And that takes sizeable chunks of time. So I need time, as well as money.
An important consideration, which I have yet to find a satisfactory explanation to, is that a productive activity cannot be sustained indefinitely. I can write in a way that I’m pleased with for an hour, but that hour has to be preceded and succeeded by an empty mind. With certain mental activities, variety is sufficient to maintain priductivity, but with others, such as writing, that variety has to include emptiness.
So let’s set out concrete goals which require one or both of these, and divide them up. A clear target will be easier to aim at.
I want to write a book. A book which captures the way I think, the person I am, through imaginative fictional narratives, interconnected as my mind is. The purpose of the book is a legacy, a written record of who I am for those around me, the joy in writing it, and the joy of the journey undertaken to understand myself through writing the book.
I want to draw. When I close my eyes, I see pictures which I can’t explain otherwise than through pictures. I want those to complete the text.
I want to understand the world through interacting with it. Like Theodore Roosevelt, I want to know about exotic fish and remote cultures by seeing them first-hand, not by reading accounts of them. I want to swim with sharks and sail through storms. Now, I don’t need to be the best in any of these: I want to climb mountains, but I don’t need to reach the tallest or the most treaturous. Sitting in a car is great, but driving it around the world and fixing it with my own hands on the way is better. I want to be a pilot, a sailor, a mechanic, a diver, a driver, an astronaut, and many more. Few are those I wish not to be.
I want to have a broad and firm grasp of what’s known. Technology, science, medicine, philosophy. I want to be familiar with myself in their worlds and contexts.
And I want to love and be loved. Without love, life becomes an intellectual exercise devoid of personal meaning.